free movies, we love you!

I'm baffled by people who don't think Steve Carell is funny. I mean, I get people who don't like, say, Will Ferrell. Or Adam Sandler, even. Maybe.

Regardless.

His voice for Gru in Despicable Me was nothing short of genius. Personally, I like kids' movies more than most things these days, so there you go. Another flimsy post propped up with photos. Of cartoon characters, no less. Woe is me.

And one more. Because these yellow dudes are just about the best thing in almost any movie.

I want a minion!

kid books that would rock on screen

My nephews are finally getting to an age where I can read them stories. Personally, this is one those parenting things that I look forward to the most. That and Halloween costumes. In true Hall form, we still own all of our childhood books – really, the contents of our old bookshelves are the only items that I can justify keeping after all these years.

It’s really cool, though. Gabriel’s been fixated on Where the Wild Things Are (I think he identifies with Max). I’d like to get the recent movie version for him because it was so astoundingly inspired and lovely. Film adaptations of classic children’s lit can make me a bit uneasy, but this one was superb. It got me thinking – what other kid books would make killer movies? And then I compiled a list. Because that’s what I do.

Liz's Top Picks for Kids Books that Should be Made into Movies (as it stands after 2 minutes of thought):

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery – Ok, so they actually DID attempt a movie version of this French masterpiece in 1974. My roommate and I checked it out of the library once, but it was rotten. They added all these super lame songs – it was just dumb. I don’t know. I adore this book, and I adore it exactly as it is – as a book. But I still think someone in the world must be creative and insightful enough to pull this adaptation off.

The Rainbow Goblins by Count Ul de Rico – If you were never lucky enough to have had this story read to you as a child, I feel bad for you. My soul ached the first time I looked at it as an adult. The illustrations captivated me as a kid – my sisters and I would just stare at the rich, drippy, vibrant pictures forever. Then we would laugh at the last page because it showed one of the goblin’s naked butts. I’m inclined to think Tim Burton could direct this shit out of this book-turned-movie. Only because it’s so dark and visually gripping. But then, his Alice in Wonderland was mediocre, at best. So.

Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Clearly – Ol’ Bev was my number 1. Beezus and Ramona was my favorite of all her “Ramona” books because it cut Beezus some slack. I always identified with Beezus since she was the older, more serious sister who didn’t demand everyone’s attention 24/7. After I started writing this entry, I did a little youtube action for trailers since I'd heard someone was making this movie already. I felt a little woozy after watching - ok, this is mostly diehard nostalgia talking, but - the friendship between Beezus and Henry Huggins is, well, sacred. And linking the two romantically - just yuck. C'mon people. Way to choke my childhood dreams. (Also, they got the title wrong by reversing the two names - this book is about BEEZUS! GEEZ...)

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle – This book is so strange and almost frightening and I could probably pick it up today and be just as mesmerized as the 11-year-old version of myself. There was a made-for-TV version several years ago that I’m pretty sure my mom taped for me and then I never watched it.

You can’t go wrong with Dr. Seuss (or can you?) At any rate, I’m patiently awaiting production of his pro-nature The Lorax. Woot WoOt.

Also, will someone just get the darn Hobbit done soon! The world needs a Tolkien movie sans Elijah Wood pronto!

say what

Most of my customers fall into 1 of 3 categories:

A. Customer arrives at box office window only to forget the title of their movie ("It's uh...uh...uh...that one...you know, the one with that girl...that girl with brown hair...you know what I'm talking about, right???")

B. Customer has no clue about anything in the universe. ("So, I'm in a movie theatre, yeah? Right then. So, what's playing now? What's that about? Did you see it? Who's in it? Who directed it? How much do tickets cost? What about 3D tickets? Do I buy the 3D glasses from you? What's Imax? What's the square root of pi? Why am I such a lousy person that makes everyone behind me wait 10 minutes while I decide what piece of Hollywood trash to waste 10 bucks on? I suck.")

Or -

C. (my favorite) Customer invents his/her own title.

From this past weekend: (See how many you can guess!)

Death of a Salesman (*for Death at a Funeral)

Backdoor Backup Plan (*for The Backup Plan) - sounds like a bad porno.

Kiss Ass (*for Kick Ass) - funnier, because it was ordered by a 100-year-old woman with dentures and a walking cane.

Diary of a Mad Wimpy Kid - conflating Diary of a Mad Black Woman & Diary of a Wimpy Kid

A wide variety of How to [Slay, Kill, Beat] Your Dragon/Dinosaur. Quite the reverse of how to TAME.

By the way, this was one of my favorite movies in a LONG time.

Toothless is so friggin' cute.

"So, what does 3D mean?"....Really? No. Shut up.

We love the sun, yes yes. Also, Jeff Buckley's vocal chords and birthdays on Fat Tuesday.

So - ten nominations for Best Picture? Why? Scrolling the list, I'm pretty sure I could whittle it down to five. Ten is just so excessive. I have this sinking feeling that Avatar will bring it home. I mean it was ok. But I hate those people who come out of the theatre all wide-eyed and wide-jawed like "OHMYGAWD that was the BEST movie I've ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!" It was good, but it wasn't that good. Not "Best Picture" good.

Plus, it's difficult for me to ignore the fact that 50 consecutive days of sold-out shows has transformed me into a fire-breathing curmudgeon of death. Honest to God, I am not myself lately, no thanks to Mr. Cameron. So yeah. He's got that against him. Did he not receive enough adulation with Titanic? Down with Avatar and its insanely ludicrous dialogue!

I still have to see The Hurt Locker and An Education to make up my mind about who deserves a win. I was watching Up in the Air again today and God - it still blows me away. A brilliant, smart, effective movie. Def a fave of 2009.

Now I'm going to eat my free ice cream from the Top's Monopoly game.

my computer works again!

If Avatar wins "Best Picture" I will throw up.

There's more to be said on the subject, but I'm just not up to it. Later.

That was a whole corndog!

2 days ago, my mate and I went to see Adventureland. When it was over he leaned across the armrest and said, “That’s not at all what I thought it was going to be.”

Without the benefit (or detriment, depending on your angle) of any flashy previews for this film, we weren’t sure what we were getting ourselves into. Paul was going on my word that it would be good, and I was going on Jeff Simon’s glowing review in the Buffalo News, a typically unreliable source as far as I’m concerned. But still, I had faith. And for once, praise God, I was not short changed in any way.

Adventureland is a really special movie. Instead of the bland teen-comedy my mate was clearly expecting, we were treated with a little piece of charming nostalgia.

The year is 1987, and James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) has just graduated from college. Financial difficulty forces James to put his plans to tour Europe on hold and get a summer job. The only place hiring, of course, is Adventureland, a crappy amusement park where James will learn more about life than his hefty Renaissance lit anthologies could ever teach him.

The reasons this movie works are many, but one biggie is the fact that it never resorts to irritating teen melodrama. It doesn’t pull any tasteless gags. It gives us young people in a way that they’re rarely portrayed on the big-screen: as real people. Not just poptarts looking to lose their virginity on prom night. But scared, vulnerable, vibrant kids who are figuring out life and like to smoke pot on occasion.

There is a sentimentality here that, thankfully, never gets too sticky-sweet. It’s the best sort of coming-of-age story. One that’s affectionate, delightful, and subtly funny. I left the theatre in very high spirits. And that is always a nice thing.

Burn After Watching

They say good things come in twos, and I can’t think of a more fitting justification for this platitude than the varied body of work that is the Coen brothers’ film repertoire. Time and time again, the duo has tickled our funny bones while offering that something extra for the finicky tastes of moviegoers whose palates desire a little “oomph”.

That being said,

I hated Burn After Reading.

I mean, I really, really hated it. I hated it for much the same reasons that I hated the film Juno, though that hatred exists on an entirely different plane (don’t even get me started on Diablo Cody’s dialogue). The hype circling these two movies was such that I expected nothing less that 4-star treatment. Instead, what I got was a lot of confused plotlines and too many character names, the combination of which left me yawning to high heaven for 2 monotonous hours.

Generally, I dig quirky oddball movies, but this was just boring with a capital B. I kept waiting for it to get better. To at least match the hilarious previews with which I was bombarded all Fall. I'm lost - why did people think this movie was so great again?

The one thing I did enjoy was watching Brad Pitt rock it out as a dim-witted fitness trainer glued to his iPod. That one really got me. (always a sucker for Brad - how can you not be?)

Other than Brad though, well, this movie can go suck it.

wild thing, you make my heart sing

Before you do anything else, it's pretty important that you watch the following:



Spike Jonze, you do me right. And if any preview uses Arcade Fire, I will see that film by default. Even if it's, I dunno, another freakin' Disney Hannah Montanah abomination (they're that good).

Anyway, everyone will say how they just looooved this book as a kid. But my most recent memory of this story was getting really stoned and lying in bed while my sister read it to me -you know, teacher-style. When we came to the end of the book, I was silent for a while.

"But there's no moral."

"What do you mean, there's no moral?"

I mean, there's no fucking moral. The kid's bad. He's sent to his room and goes on this crazy adventure shit. And then he's back in his room with no dinner."

"Shit, Liz. Why does there have to be a fucking moral? It's just a story."

"You don't get it - certain books have morals. This is the kind of book that would have one. And it doesn't. I feel jipped. "

"You're a shithead."