Friday, April 30, 2010

this happens. this is something that happens.

"And it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that strange things happen all the time. And so it goes, and so it goes." Magnolia, 1999.

"I'll tell you everything, and you'll tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people." Claudia Wilson Gator

"What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you." Frank T.J. Mackey

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

kid books that would rock on screen

My nephews are finally getting to an age where I can read them stories. Personally, this is one those parenting things that I look forward to the most. That and Halloween costumes. In true Hall form, we still own all of our childhood books – really, the contents of our old bookshelves are the only items that I can justify keeping after all these years.

It’s really cool, though. Gabriel’s been fixated on Where the Wild Things Are (I think he identifies with Max). I’d like to get the recent movie version for him because it was so astoundingly inspired and lovely. Film adaptations of classic children’s lit can make me a bit uneasy, but this one was superb. It got me thinking – what other kid books would make killer movies? And then I compiled a list. Because that’s what I do.

Liz's Top Picks for Kids Books that Should be Made into Movies (as it stands after 2 minutes of thought):

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery – Ok, so they actually DID attempt a movie version of this French masterpiece in 1974. My roommate and I checked it out of the library once, but it was rotten. They added all these super lame songs – it was just dumb. I don’t know. I adore this book, and I adore it exactly as it is – as a book. But I still think someone in the world must be creative and insightful enough to pull this adaptation off.


The Rainbow Goblins by Count Ul de Rico – If you were never lucky enough to have had this story read to you as a child, I feel bad for you. My soul ached the first time I looked at it as an adult. The illustrations captivated me as a kid – my sisters and I would just stare at the rich, drippy, vibrant pictures forever. Then we would laugh at the last page because it showed one of the goblin’s naked butts. I’m inclined to think Tim Burton could direct this shit out of this book-turned-movie. Only because it’s so dark and visually gripping. But then, his Alice in Wonderland was mediocre, at best. So.



Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Clearly – Ol’ Bev was my number 1. Beezus and Ramona was my favorite of all her “Ramona” books because it cut Beezus some slack. I always identified with Beezus since she was the older, more serious sister who didn’t demand everyone’s attention 24/7. After I started writing this entry, I did a little youtube action for trailers since I'd heard someone was making this movie already. I felt a little woozy after watching - ok, this is mostly diehard nostalgia talking, but - the friendship between Beezus and Henry Huggins is, well, sacred. And linking the two romantically - just yuck. C'mon people. Way to choke my childhood dreams. (Also, they got the title wrong by reversing the two names - this book is about BEEZUS! GEEZ...)



A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’EngleThis book is so strange and almost frightening and I could probably pick it up today and be just as mesmerized as the 11-year-old version of myself. There was a made-for-TV version several years ago that I’m pretty sure my mom taped for me and then I never watched it.

You can’t go wrong with Dr. Seuss (or can you?) At any rate, I’m patiently awaiting production of his pro-nature The Lorax. Woot WoOt.

Also, will someone just get the darn Hobbit done soon! The world needs a Tolkien movie sans Elijah Wood pronto!

Monday, April 26, 2010

say what

Most of my customers fall into 1 of 3 categories:

A. Customer arrives at box office window only to forget the title of their movie ("It's uh...uh...uh...that one...you know, the one with that girl...that girl with brown hair...you know what I'm talking about, right???")

B. Customer has no clue about anything in the universe. ("So, I'm in a movie theatre, yeah? Right then. So, what's playing now? What's that about? Did you see it? Who's in it? Who directed it? How much do tickets cost? What about 3D tickets? Do I buy the 3D glasses from you? What's Imax? What's the square root of pi? Why am I such a lousy person that makes everyone behind me wait 10 minutes while I decide what piece of Hollywood trash to waste 10 bucks on? I suck.")

Or -

C. (my favorite) Customer invents his/her own title.

From this past weekend: (See how many you can guess!)

Death of a Salesman (*for Death at a Funeral)

Backdoor Backup Plan (*for The Backup Plan) - sounds like a bad porno.

Kiss Ass (*for Kick Ass) - funnier, because it was ordered by a 100-year-old woman with dentures and a walking cane.

Diary of a Mad Wimpy Kid - conflating Diary of a Mad Black Woman & Diary of a Wimpy Kid

A wide variety of How to [Slay, Kill, Beat] Your Dragon/Dinosaur. Quite the reverse of how to TAME.

By the way, this was one of my favorite movies in a LONG time.



Toothless is so friggin' cute.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hey Sabres – please stay in the playoffs long enough for me to get myself to Party in the Plaza at some point. Thanks.

I love Lady Gaga. Weird.

I hate anagrams. Really.

So today was designated “Clean Out My Life Day.” I threw out mix CD’s from ex-boyfriends. Filled a wastebasket with uncompleted to-do lists. Found some stinky t-shirts jammed behind furniture. I even gathered a smashed up bunch of receipts and organized them according to the date.

I dumped out my bathroom drawer. Threw out about 60 crusty mascara tubes (why do I hold on to those?) and realized I have five (no joke) opened deodorant sticks. I’m afraid I have no explanation for that. Things like that give me the jeepers, makes me think I might have inherited my mom’s obsessive hoarding tendencies. Ugh, yuck, gross. No way.

Truly, (and this crushes my soul to say) when I watch TLC’s Hoarders, I’m not really all that aghast or freaked out. A little, but not a lot. Because my own house could be a serious contender for the show. It’s like one of those things you grow up with your whole life, so it’s just normal to you (like weird Catholic rituals…). Anyway, one day it occurred to me – this is not just messy clutter. This is straight-up loony bin material. But what can you do? Well, I’ll tell you: nothing. Unless it involves a very talented shrink and an even more talented volunteer clean-up crew, nothing. So it goes.

But life is life and after all, we all have a smidge of crazy in us. The lucky ones get a whole bunch. And the very luckiest possess a bright madness that shows them the prettiest sides of the universe.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Only because I don't want April to end up entirely blog-free:



Gorgeous, gorgeous man.

(and Maureen - this was weird... as I was about to post this, I was scrolling your site and saw that you posted the Paolo Nutini version of this song. Bizzaro)